Lucky red hockey sweater

Karl was an accountant by day and a hockey super fan at night. He never missed one of his team’s games, even the preseason. Tonight was the big game seven. Two bitter hockey rivals facing off to decide the championship.

Karl was passionate about hockey, but he liked to eat even more. He had his feast all lined up for the big game. There were pizza rolls, chicken nuggets, pizza, corndogs, and even nachos. He had turned his hockey rink coffee table into a buffet. This may seem like a lot of food, but Karl was a large man. At age 47, he tipped the scales at 445 lbs. and stood 6’ 3” tall.

The game was as exciting and filled with drama. The overtime period had come to an end and the teams were still tied. There was going to be a shootout to decide.

“Laplante winds up, and shoots! …” screamed the announcer as the telecast was cut off and went to white static. Karl tried to stand in dismay, but that is when it all went black.

The cushy, tan chair and that had supported Karl in the upright position for the last eighteen hours was slowly causing his backside to grow sore. His sweatpants were filled with human waste as he couldn’t stand to use the bathroom. The chafing had festered into deterioration of the skin surrounding his genitals. He stared straight ahead at the white static on the television screen. He didn’t move, he couldn’t. The sweat dripped off of his furrowed brow and saturated his lucky red hockey sweater. It wasn’t too hot that day, but old widow Dietrich from downstairs liked to blast her thermostat. She could never get warm enough. Granted, she was easily 90 or so, but boy she liked it hot. Unfortunately for Karl, heat rises. He would open the windows, but he couldn’t move. His legs felt as heavy as two concrete pillars and his spine was equally as stiff. Karl could barely wipe the sweat from his own brow or stroke his cat that was curled up in a ball on his lap.

Jonesy, his cat, purred and purred as Karl stroked his calico fur. Thoughts of despair flashed through his mind, but Jonesy helped him stay calm. Suddenly, there was a pounding at his apartment door.

Karl slowly turned his head toward the noise and tried to speak, but nothing came out. All he could do was lightly moan. The pounding continued. A lump grew in Karl’s throat as he attempted to gather enough saliva to try and speak again. It took a while as the dehydration had diminished his voice. His throat was so dry that every time he tried to speak a word, he felt as though he had swallowed a handful razor blades.

The pounding grew louder. This time it startled Jonesy as he hopped down from Karl and took shelter under the hockey rink coffee table in the center of the room. Karl tried to move, but the stiffness and pain was overwhelming. Using what he thought was everything he had left, Karl reached for the remote control to his assisted lift chair and pressed the “up” button. The pounding was now as loud as ever. “There must be multiple people out there”, thought Karl as the assist chair allowed him to stand for the first time in eighteen hours. Unfortunately, he quickly collapsed onto the floor and cracked his head on the coffee table and rendered him momentarily unconscious. When he came to, he was face to face with Jonesy who was feasting on the plate of pizza rolls that Karl had dropped during the game.

Moments later, Karl stood at old widow Dietrich’s door, slowly pounding and moaning with his head pressed tightly against the handmade welcome sign that her grandson hade made for her in woodshop class. Blood from his forehead spilled out onto the walnut stained “E” on the welcome sign

“Just a minute… I’m an old woman!” shouted widow Dietrich as she hiked up her green plaid house dress and shuffled to the door in her ratty pink slippers.

Old widow Dietrich looked through her peep hole, but all she could see was Karl’s red hockey sweater. She opened each of her ten different locks while grumbling about how cold she was and how everyone upstairs was stealing her heat. As she opened the last of the locks, she slowly turned the knob and opened the door to see the most horrific scene of her life. There were body parts and blood strewn all over the hallway.

Two feet in front of her stood an undead Karl gorging himself on calico fur and flesh. Karl looked up from the mangled corpse of Jonesy with yellow bloodshot eyes and lunged for widow Dietrich.

The explosion that followed was fast and hot. It evaporated everything and everyone in its path.

                                  -the end-




 I recant to you this story in hopes that whoever reads this can help me:

   My mind was broken, there was nothing I could do. My energy low and my body was paying the price. As I sat staring into space. I couldn’t help but think I was dying. I was staring blankly at the television and computer screens. My mind had lapses. One second it was 8am and in a blink it was 5pm. It was like my clock was mocking me. Dirty, miserable, fucking clock! This has been happening for years. My life was withering away and the atrophy in my brain was equalling the atrophy in my body. I could barely move.

  I guess you could say I was on the verge of slipping into a coma and I didn’t see a way to stop it. Then it happened. I mustered the energy to fit the noose around my neck and tie it to the beam in my garage. This was it, I was going to end this train wreck of a life. As I kicked the chair from beneath my feet and the noose tightened like a boa constrictor, a small metal object protruded from my neck and fell to the ground. It was small and shiny, like a metal sliver or microchip. The force of the noose squeezing the life out of me, ejected it. Instantly I felt relief. I could think, I could breathe, I could move. All of my senses were heightened. I wanted to live! I grabbed the rope from above my head and pulled myself up and cut myself down. I immediately fell to my knees and began to cry. As the tears of joy fell from my face to the floor, the realization that I had just cheated death began to sink in. I was going to go see my family, live life to the fullest! I was going to do all of the things that I’ve always wanted to do. “I’m alive!”, I screamed.

  Wait, what was this chip in my neck? What was it and how did it get there? Why did I feel relief. Was it possible that someone or something had implanted it there to control me and keep me in that comatose state?

   I was ready to take on the world and find out what had happened. Who would do this to me? I wanted answers and I wanted them now! I went to open my front door when it all went black.

  The next thing I know, I was lying on some sort of an operating table. I had no idea where I was. I appeared to be in some sort of hospital. The equipment looked unfamiliar. I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed. I looked up and I saw several really tall humanoid looking creatures with their backs to me. They appeared to be in some sort of heated discussion, but I couldn’t understand the language they were speaking. I was afraid. What were they going to do to me. What about my family?

  The humanoids turned to face me and appeared to be showing me some sort of 3d picture of a hideous green alien with huge black eyes, a giant hairless head and long skinny appendages. I still couldn’t understand them. It was weird, the alien in the 3d picture was moving and mimicking my movements. Then it hit me, that was no picture, It was a mirror. I was and currently still am the alien. The silver chip contained false memories of what I thought was my entire life.

   I am writing this story from my cell. Please help me. I have no idea who I really am, how I got here. or what is real. I am trapped. Who or what am I? Please help!